beware the jaded aussies

Jade Goody - immortalised in a verb.

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By Dave Tickner

One of the great things about the English language is the way it constantly evolves and develops.

New words crop up all the time. A few years ago, who'd heard of podcasts? Or blogs for that matter?

Often, the new words are rubbish and quickly disappear again, like "Whasssssupp?" from the beer ads.

But some new words are so good, they must be given every chance to catch on, and I came across one such example in Viz which I urge each of you to use at every available opportunity:

Jade, verb: "To enter into something with great overconfidence, only to emerge at the end completely f***ed."

And this clearly has uses beyond the nation's favourite reality TV pariah.

For there's simply no doubt that Australia Jaded the CB Series. John Buchanan's now infamous worries that no-one could even give his invincibles a decent game ahead of the World Cup carry certain similarities to a loud, braying idiot striding into a house full of nano-celebs like she was doing them a favour by gracing them with her wondrous presence.

And they were both, of course, set up for a fall. England roared back from nowhere to win the series in the one-day game's version of Botham's Ashes (I for one can't wait for the three-disc DVD box-set of Colly's CB Series that is surely in the advanced stage of production).

And Jade Goody said some stupid things about foreigners and poppadums.

Unfortunately for the other teams in the World Cup, Australia have, like Jade Goody, realised their mistake.

And just as Ms Goody has been trying to sob herself tolerant on every daytime chat show in the known world, so the Australians have been desperately trying to salvage their own World Cup hopes by insisting that, hey, there are loads of good teams out there.

Mr Cricket Mike Hussey - possibly the most Australian man ever - even went so far as to name four teams that might sneak past the mighty Baggy Greens to win.

Don't worry, he hasn't gone completely mad; he didn't name England as one of the four even though they've won their last three encounters against the holders.

But this is where the similarity ends. For while Jade remains as popular as supermarket petrol despite her tearful attempts at a rehabilitation, the Aussies may have been given a very timely kick up the backside.

As performances since the 2005 Ashes have shown, a team full of damaged Aussie egos is a dangerous one indeed.

Those hoping for more Jaded performances from Australia in the Caribbean are likely to be in for a nasty surprise.